


sweet lies

by Dorian (AmericanaEx0tica)



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Han is an asshole, M/M, SO ANSTY, Short, U WOULD NOT BELIEVE, aroace han, but it had to be done, but listen he has his reasons okay, for being a bitch in this, i tried to make it ansgty okay, i would like to apologize to my sunshine lee seokmin, insp by sweet lies by exo lol, not rlly a happy ending, okay well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-07
Updated: 2017-09-07
Packaged: 2018-12-24 23:28:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12023310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmericanaEx0tica/pseuds/Dorian
Summary: "What are you thinking about?""You.""What about me?""How much I love you."He feels like a filthy liar.





	sweet lies

It's like drinking acid, the way he feels.

It hurts and burns him from the inside. He feels like it's melting him away, leaving his torso and throat with a gaping hole and _he can't breathe, it's too much, when will it end?_

"What are you thinking about?"

"You."

He's not made for things like this.

Relationships, _love_.

He's not made for the sweet smiles Seokmin throws him, his body not built to handle the way he tangles their fingers together, his system made to reject the kisses that are planted on his mouth, hair, and knuckles.

Every time the words _I love you_ pass his lips, his stomach lurches in an unpleasant way, ready to empty itself on the floor.

"What about me?"

"How much I love you."

He feels like a filthy liar.

He feels disgusting and unworthy and he wants it all to _stop_.

He'll keep lying though.

Seokmin is safe. Reliable. Seokmin loves him very much and would never leave him.

With Seokmin, he's safe. He won't have to struggle, he will have it all. He'll have a home, a family. A stable future.

"Aw, I love you too!"

So he'll keep lying.

He'll smile back, he'll squeeze the hand in his in fake reassurance, he'll kiss back twice as hard, enough to convince himself that he can do it. He can put up with it.

He'll swallow down his ugliness and say _I love you_ as much as he needs to.

He'll work to be the man Seokmin deserves so he can ignore the holes in his throat and chest. He'll fill them up with lies.

"You're all I'll ever need." He smiles. Seokmin beams.

He lies. Seokmin believes.

**Author's Note:**

> YA GIRL BACK, BITCH  
> hooooooo boooyy  
> it feels so good to post something uwu  
> i hope u guys enjoy this?  
> idk man it's 3:24 am, i just finished bawling my eyes out, im listening to exo nd i was angsty okay leave me alone idk what this is
> 
> also!!!!! i ahve something written!!!! i will post it soon hopefully!!!! i just gotta finish it!!!!!! it's junhao!!!!!!! look forward to it!!!!!!!
> 
> ok thts it bye


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